Friday, September 03, 2004

The Day the Kitchen Went Black.

Dear Staff who Eat Food,

It has come to my attention that the staff kitchen utensils appear to be dwindling in amount. If you have used any of the plastic forks, knifes, spoons, etc., that have been provided for you in absence of the regular cutlery, and have accidentally taken them home, to your desk, or stolen, please kindly return them to the kitchen. No questions asked, but your laptop bag and/or purse will be searched upon you leaving nightly.

If by some odd chance you have thrown out the plastic utensil that you have used, please fish them out of the garbage, wipe them off on your white t-shirt, and return them to the communal box on the table in the staff kitchen.

Finally, if you put them in the dishwasher by mistake and they melted, please go to the closest dollar store and replace them.

However, if any of the utensils broke whilst you were using them to eat, or broke in your mouth, please note you will have to replace those too.

I came to the distressing concluding that there were no spoons left and had to drink my yogurt this morning. That is until a fellow staff member dug through all of the other utensils with there grubby hands and found me a spoon at the bottom of the box, and handed it to me, spoon part in their hands. I wiped in on my shirt and gladly stopped drinking my yogurt.

Yours in Fondest Regards (aka: hungrily yours)

The Office Helper that everyone hates.

Posted by Loba @ 10:19 AM