Thursday, October 28, 2004
Letting Go of Grade 10
So I'm walking around the ol' doughnut factory today thinking that "shit, yo, my undies are killing me." I didn't think I had put on a thong, but it sure felt like I had one on. An oddly thick one, because normally, they aren't too bad at all actually. Then I came to the horrible realization that it was my ass sucking in the undies as I walked! I was like Homer Simpson on the episode when they went to Brazil and Homer and Bart are on the beach and Homer's bathing suit keeps disapearing up his ass.Oh lord, the middle age spread has begun before middle age! Peach and I are running though, so I'm clinging to this pair of undies, I've had them since grade 10 man! Grade 10! That's almost 15 years of loyal service. They're in pretty good shape too, only a few tears. It's still good, it's still good. 15 years of loyal service is pretty tough to come by, especially when you have IBS.
Until last year I had a pair that I got in grade six. They were no longer pink, actually they were an odd greenish/brownish colour....and the elastic was shot, but fuck me, I could still get into them. Of course I could only wear them with jogging pants because they got a very, very unflattering line, but whatev man, what-ev.. I had to get rid of them because they disintigrated off my body. SO in actuality, they disapeared. Rotted off me if you will.
All in all though, I'm not gross, I just get odd attachments to some stuff. With my undies, the odd attachement is that they are crusted onto my body. Even when I cut a third leg hole in them and turn them inside out for the fifth day of wear. Frankly though, if in the morning you toss your undies against the wall, and they DON'T stick, you aren't having a good enough time (or you need penicillan).
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the only gross thing is when you wear those undies under nice dress pants. and then you bend over and they are pulled up past your bra strap. yeah, classy look for the office.
wren
my mom bought them for me, I can't help it. Plus I threw them out because I rotted a hole through the crotch.
Wife of the Baldman Jessie said
My dear girl,
I use to be like you with the age old underpants, but somewhere it hit me that if i can afford to live on my own, i can afford new clean underpants. So now if i get a hole, i throw them out. Mind you, for a while there i didnt have underpants cause i had no money cause i was living on my own,,,,,,
"Underpants go under your pants".
Oh no worries, I do have nice, new, CLEAN underwear (that I mostly manage to get undermy clothes) but somehow, it's this thing that if I can still get into these old ones, my body must still be in good shape. Then I start to cry because I'm laughing so hard at how untrue that is.
Very cool design! Useful information. Go on!
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