Tuesday, March 08, 2005

All askew and shit

So I think I'm going to start to wear a wig, just a little askew, that doesn't fit quite right, and act all natural and shit, like I don't even have an ill fitting wig slightly askew on my rather large cranium. Also, I might put a water pack up in it's weaving and start to 'sweat' profusely whilst eating my gravy laden lunch.

I may even run my fingers through it's matted tresses and pull it off my head in the lunch room at work. I'll pretend it's not stuck on my fingers and psoddibly wipe the counter with it and sing really loudly, like Crazy Train or You Got What I Need by Biz Markie. I will however still pull out a cracked hand mirror from my garbage bag purse to help in my placement of it, and ask Kermit if my "hair" looks as good as her "hair" (Hopefully it will be on ponytail day). I'll tell her that mine is named "Lurlene", and that I have "Nicole"at home, but save her for special occasions.

Special occasions such as my traveling road show of interpretive dance (Gloria, 9-5, Don't Stop Moving [S-Club stylings], DIVORCE and Working for the weekend) and backyard wrestling.

My most specialist wig will come out though when I go to wine tasting or scotch tastings. Her name will be Mr. T.

Posted by Loba @ 10:56 a.m.