Wednesday, March 30, 2005
The Caffe Latte has KICKED in.
So, I’ve decided waiting for an interview call back is like waiting for a guy you really like to call you back. ESPECIALLY when you’ve been told it’s down to you and one other person, and they call you to make sure it’s ok to check your references (they haven’t called the references though)“It's ok baby, I really do like you” as you let the boy slip his hand down the front of your pants-and the next day you're feeling all confident, sasified and well liked. A week goes by and you don’t hear from them, you try and act all cool, but slowly, ever so slowly our eye begins to twitch, your formerly straight hair curls on it’s own, and all this pressure in your head is growing as you wait for them to call you. Also, you become a raging alcoholic.
Similar to the interview, they call you two days after your interview, tell you it’s between you and someone else and they’d like to call your references, and over a week goes by-and zip happens. So you begin to question yourself, just like when a guy says he'll call and he doesn't. Aren't I good enough? What could have I said better? Should I have smiled more? Laughed at their jokes harder? Touched their penis with my tounge?
The other thing is I just drank a large café latte, and now I’m over anxious, high on cold meds, and spacey from McTaggert’s perfume, so everything is super amplified.
The long weekend just passed though, so I’m going to wait until tomorrow until I call them, or show up on John’s doorstop…. I mean, call the HR lady.
The Sentence that makes me sure that I don't want to live in a small town
"Do you want to go to the legion again tongiht?"So I’m back at work, sick as a dog, and feeling so full of snot I can’t remember what it’s like to smell and taste, nor can I talk like a normal human. Most words are more jumbled than usual, so my Mush Mouth days are in full effect.
I can, however, still smell Stinky McTaggert.
How much perfume does one wear that it can still be smelt by someone who hasn’t been able to breath out her nose for 5 days? Man alive it’s time to tone down!
I’ve decided I’m going to use my mad skillz as a ghetto troubadour and speak as MC Hammer would.
Propa.
So if you want me to respond to you, I expect you to wear Harem pants, wear heavy hardware eyeglasses and dance back and forth in front of me. Steps shaved into your head, and partial eyebrows are optional.
Thank you for you respecting my request and following them. To the letter. Pr. Op. Pa.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Nerd in the Sun
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Mount Tremblant
Well, we're here, in Tremblant. It's been 4 hours, I'm sort of drunk, thinking a doobie would be good, and already had a few bites of tail.Beaver tail.
Yes that's right folks, Beaver Tail. The age old wonder that is Quebec, and it's fine affliction towards Pepsi, poutine and tail of beaver. The tail tasted of cinnamon and sugar, and left a satisfying stick. Gosh, I can't tell you how proud my nice, sweet United folks would be (even though my dad did steal my mom away from her fiance, I don't think they know the depths of despair like their fellow Canadian Anne of Green gables, and Loba of the Brahms trangle.)
We're right in the village, and have already played nicky, nicky nine door with Reba and Blowmar. Those two pussies are sleeping.
We went for a walk. I danced to the local radio station dj booth set up outside Diablo and scared small children and amazed science with the endless jiggle.
Tomorrow, I'll have my second caffe lat-teh. (It's all in the pronunciation, LA-TEh, you can't tell my how many I can have, you can't tell me when I'm cut off-[I had my first La-Teh this morning, and gosh, it's good]).
Ok, peace out dudes, I's gots me some tokin' to do. It makes the skiing safer (the helmet fits better when I'm stoned).
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Meowmewomeow
Sometimes, when I'm talking to an upper upper, or during a job interview, I wonder if I make any sense at all. I'll start rambling, and in my head I'll be screaming "shut up shut up shut up" or "Meowmeowmeowmeow [deep brain breath]MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWmeowmeow...etc etc". Once I knew I didn't make ANY sense when they asked me to explain my answer more, and did I have anything else to add?Once, when I was conducting an interview, this person scored 13%, out of 100%, and we tried to prompt them for more answers, gave them leading, open ended questions. Fuck they sucked ass. AND WE STILL HIRED THEM. [THIS WAS YEARS AGO, NOT AT THE DOUGHNUT FACTORY].
I've decided anyone who wears a fur coat, faux or no, that has a zipper and a hood is a prostitute, or is stuck in a bad 1980's after school special.
Yes, I know I'm generalizing, but I can do that if I want. I can also generalize that anyone who has a lazy eye was hit in the eye with some stray spunk. Hence, the lazy eye.
I can see the around your head whilst my eye chases the bumble bee.
I've also decided I live in a crazy neighborhood and I hate the TTC. Thank you. Oh, and our annoying neighbor downstairs. Just 'cause. Although I haven't seen his shoes around lately....
Monday, March 14, 2005
Illustration Friday is “ancient” and I haven’t been able to do any illustrations, but when I do, it’ll be of Beatrice Arthur. Or Don Knotts.
Maybe nerd’ll draw it, and post it. I can’t be so much with the bothering part of it.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Rage issues- I sure hope I don’t have any!
The other night I ripped off my closet doors, and now they are leaning against the wall of my bedroom.I hope that doesn’t indicate I have rage…
Tonight I might just rip off Peach’s. Just 'cause…
So I think that indicates I DON’T have rage, I just want to rip things is all.
You know, it ain’t no big thing G.
Shit yo.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
I pity the fool who gets Murdock's blood.
http://stuffo.howstuffworks.com/a-team-finding.htm/printableThe above link is in search of the A-Team, and it's super ass funny.
Check it out Chud Wad.
New Wad's
Pork WadPoon Wad
Pork Juice Wad
Poon Juice Wad
I think I'm done.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
I've decided I'm going to call Wren: Granola Wad.
Peach will be Burger King Wad
Future Doctor will be Hairy Balls Wad
Nerd will be Food on Face Wad.
Somebody will be Crazy Wig Wad, and someone else will be Runny Wad.
All askew and shit
So I think I'm going to start to wear a wig, just a little askew, that doesn't fit quite right, and act all natural and shit, like I don't even have an ill fitting wig slightly askew on my rather large cranium. Also, I might put a water pack up in it's weaving and start to 'sweat' profusely whilst eating my gravy laden lunch.I may even run my fingers through it's matted tresses and pull it off my head in the lunch room at work. I'll pretend it's not stuck on my fingers and psoddibly wipe the counter with it and sing really loudly, like Crazy Train or You Got What I Need by Biz Markie. I will however still pull out a cracked hand mirror from my garbage bag purse to help in my placement of it, and ask Kermit if my "hair" looks as good as her "hair" (Hopefully it will be on ponytail day). I'll tell her that mine is named "Lurlene", and that I have "Nicole"at home, but save her for special occasions.
Special occasions such as my traveling road show of interpretive dance (Gloria, 9-5, Don't Stop Moving [S-Club stylings], DIVORCE and Working for the weekend) and backyard wrestling.
My most specialist wig will come out though when I go to wine tasting or scotch tastings. Her name will be Mr. T.
Monday, March 07, 2005
huh, I like to organize and have order? Well I'll be...
Summary of Supervisors·Bring order to their home and work life ·
Like to act on clear, achievable goals ·
Think of themselves as stable, practical and sociable ·
May be irritated when people don't follow procedures
More about Supervisors
Supervisors like to make plans, organise people and get things done efficiently. They are natural administrators who dislike chaos and strive to bring order to every aspect of their lives. Supervisors like jobs where the goals are clearly defined and there are proven work methods in place.
Supervisors are most likely to say they prefer a job which involves a series of separate projects, according to a UK survey.
Supervisors use logic to solve problems and believe in being open and direct in their communications with others. They prefer to work and socialise with like-minded people.In situations where they can't use their talents or are unappreciated, Supervisors may reject the opinions of others and insist they are right. Under extreme stress, Supervisors may feel cut off from the people around them and lose confidence in their own ability to cope.
Because they like to take charge and organise activities, others may find Supervisors too bossy.
Supervisor Careers
Supervisors are often drawn to jobs in management or administration that require logical planning.
I'm apparently a planner, think with my head, I like that facts, and am an extrovert.
(Stinky Mctaggert is freaking out on someone on the phone. My word! Does not handle people her telling her how to fix mistakes that she made. Eeeppp!)
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Frozen Nerd
trouble shooting
...and I'm not talking out my ass...Acutally the little posts I cut and pasted, what gay childhood icon are you and what rejected crayon colour are you, is screwing up my formatting, so I'm trying to fix it with an entry to force the gay icon into archive.
Future Doctor is going to be posting some pictures from here last visit, so if you want to see some photo's taken way to to close, check it out.
Future Doctor also got to see a knee surgury the other day, and when she was scrubbing in, she got soap in her eye. That's why we've been friends for almost 15 years.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Licks nature burger
It's so yummy,but makes my tummy
do things that aren't pretty,
sometimes, down right gritty.
Fuck I'm good.
Another thing on A-Team last night, the doctor that was operating on BA thought he was in a gang because "He's wearing a lot of gold, has a Mohawk and his manners are deplorable."
Poor BA, he's afraid of flying and monkeys, and is oft mistaken for a gang member. Whilst he does belong to a band of outlaws, they do good in the world, not evil!
So the shoes that Peach and I were kicking around were our downstairs neighbour. The fellow I refer to as Loud Masturbater. LM for short. He leaves his shoes outside of his apartment, and frankly if my shoes stank like his, I would too. Except Peach and I always trip on them. So last night when we got home at 4am we started kicking them around the hall. With Burger King in hand, that we got at the drive through in a taxi! we whipped those shoes something good. That'll teach you stinker!
shoes
haha, we kicked shoes around last night-that weren't ours!Wet my Pants
It was a jem of a night on tv last night. Morgan fairchild, AND Simon and Simon were on Magnum. Classic. And Tom turned down the slut Morgan! Yippeee Tom Plus, Simon and Simon will never, ever beat the duo of Magnum and TC. Ever!On The A-Team, BA has been shot, and he blames The Face, and threatens to make him The Broken Face! How crazy is that? The broken face! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!
Then! Then BA gets a blood transfusion from Murdock, and can feel himself turning crazy! Man alive it was a good show.
Another classic moment was Murdock running without bending his legs-loved it!
On a quick side note, I spoke to Joe. Joe MAMA!
Also and as well, I don't see enough Jazz hands. I need more jazz hands people!
On the Simpsons last night, the one where Homer's a food critic, I need to find out the quote he says to the Editor after he's hired. It's something crazy like "You'll never regret not hiring me" and all I could think was, that is so succinct.
Reason #34354w454334543345 pt. D not to stay out on a school night
Well kids, reason a billion not to go out on a school night-ESPECIALLY if you're starting the night after MIDNIGHT!!!!! is the next day you'll find yourself in Tim Hortons, talking inexplicably loud saying "My balls are itchy, I better scratch them."They weren't itchy, why would I say that?
I don't think it was because I wanted to touch myself, I think it was maybe that they were sticking to my thigh, and I mistook that for an itch.
Plus, yesterday the man behind Peach, at Timmy's, was doing it and trying to get her attention, so today I thought I'd take his place.
I can't focus my eyes.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Doing the Pigeon
You Are the Very Gay Bert and Ernie! |
 Two grown puppets living together, sleeping in the same room? They've even got coordinating striped shirts! |
I'm getting good at this cut and paste thing
You Are 55% Left Brained, 45% Right Brained |
The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports. |