Thursday, September 30, 2004

01.BOUGHT EVERYONE IN THE PUB A DRINK
02. SWAM WITH WILD DOLPHINS
03. CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN - in the swiss alps. Saw a funny lady with teeth perpindicular to her face.
04. TAKEN A FERRARI FOR A TEST DRIVE
05. BEEN INSIDE THE GREAT PYRAMID
06. HELD A TARANTULA.
07. TAKEN A CANDLELIT BATH WITH SOMEONE
08. SAID ‘I LOVE YOU’ AND MEANT IT-to my parents and friends.
09. HUGGED A TREE
10. DONE A STRIPTEASE
11. BUNGEE JUMPED
12. VISITED PARIS
-one time those crazy catholic kids were there, you know the ones who follow the pope around? Then, my french friend came here, and those kids were here!
13. WATCHED A LIGHTNING STORM AT SEA-and on canning lake, and the Trent Severn way!
14. STAYED UP ALL NIGHT LONG, AND WATCH THE SUN RISE -the joys of insomnia
15. SEEN THE NORTHERN LIGHTS-I've seen the milky way
16. GONE TO A HUGE SPORTS GAME
17. WALKED THE STAIRS TO THE TOP OF THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA-I was in Pisa, and the only thing there was the tower. I pretty much turned around and went to the next town.
18. GROWN AND EATEN YOUR OWN VEGETABLES
19. TOUCHED AN ICEBERG
20. SLEPT UNDER THE STARS - I love hammicks
21. CHANGED A BABY’S DIAPER
-I called my mom over, babying sitting the neighbors, becase I couldn't stop gagging, those crazy baby's and their peanut/corn shit.
22. TAKEN A TRIP IN A HOT AIR BALLOON
23. WATCHED A METEOR SHOWER
24. GOTTEN DRUNK ON CHAMPAGNE..I love it. So tasty, and aldkfjalsna
25. GIVEN MORE THAN YOU CAN AFFORD TO CHARITY

26. LOOKED UP AT THE NIGHT SKY THROUGH A TELESCOPE
27. HAD AN UNCONTROLLABLE GIGGLING FIT AT THE WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT-CEO, CIO, CFO, Chairman all in the elevator with me, and a bad day of IBS
28. HAD A FOOD FIGHT- I sure do eat messy, does that count?
29. BET ON A WINNING HORSE- I've pet the horse that won the Palio
30. TAKEN A SICK DAY WHEN YOU’RE NOT ILL -oh my god yes.
31. ASKED OUT A STRANGER -you know it girlfriend. Stupid Champagne...
32. HAD A SNOWBALL FIGHT

33. PHOTOCOPIED YOUR BOTTOM ON THE OFFICE PHOTOCOPIER-only my face, which can be as greasy as my ass.
34. SCREAMED AS LOUDLY AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN
35. HELD A LAMB
36. ENACTED A FAVORITE FANTASY - I sucked at it though, need to practice
37. TAKEN A MIDNIGHT SKINNY DIP -good old canny lake.
38. TAKEN AN ICE COLD BATH

39. HAD A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION WITH A BEGGAR
40. SEEN A TOTAL ECLIPSE
41. RIDDEN A ROLLER COASTER

42. HIT A HOME RUN
43. FIT THREE WEEKS MIRACULOUSLY INTO THREE DAYS
44. DANCED LIKE A FOOL AND NOT CARED WHO WAS LOOKING
45. ADOPTED AN ACCENT FOR AN ENTIRE DAY- I talk to a lot of Southern people during the day. Gotten friends to do it to.

46. VISITED THE BIRTHPLACE OF YOUR ANCESTORS
47. ACTUALLY FELT HAPPY ABOUT YOUR LIFE, EVEN FOR JUST A MOMENT
48. HAD TWO HARD DRIVES FOR YOUR COMPUTER-no way man, fucking nerds.
49. VISITED ALL 10 PROVINCES + 3 TERRITORIES
50. LOVED YOUR JOB FOR ALL ACCOUNTS
51. TAKEN CARE OF SOMEONE WHO WAS SHIT FACED
52. HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO BE TRULY SATISFIED
53. HAD AMAZING FRIENDS -still do
54. DANCED WITH A STRANGER IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY
55. WATCHED WILD WHALES
56. STOLEN A SIGN
57. BACKPACKED IN EUROPE
58. TAKEN A ROAD-TRIP

59. ROCK CLIMBING
60. LIED TO FOREIGN GOVERNMENT’S OFFICIAL IN THAT COUNTRY TO AVOID NOTICE
61. MIDNIGHT WALK ON THE BEACH
62. SKY DIVING
63. VISITED IRELAND
64. BEEN HEARTBROKEN LONGER THEN YOU WERE ACTUALLY IN LOVE -single tear
65. IN A RESTAURANT, SAT AT A STRANGER’S TABLE AND HAD A MEAL WITH THEM
66. VISITED JAPAN
67. BENCHPRESSED YOUR OWN WEIGHT
68. MILKED A COW
69. ALPHABETIZED YOUR RECORDS
70. PRETENDED TO BE A SUPERHERO
71. SUNG KARAOKE..
72. LOUNGED AROUND IN BED ALL DAY

73. POSED NUDE IN FRONT OF STRANGERS
74. SCUBA DIVING
75. GOT IT ON TO “LET’S GET IT ON” BY MARVIN GAYE
76. KISSED IN THE RAIN
77. PLAYED IN THE MUD
78. PLAYED IN THE RAIN

79. GONE TO A DRIVE-IN THEATER
80. DONE SOMETHING YOU SHOULD REGRET, BUT DON’T REGRET IT.
81. VISITED THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA
82. DISCOVERED THAT SOMEONE WHO’S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE KNOWN ABOUT YOUR BLOG HAS DISCOVERED YOUR BLOG
83. DROPPED WINDOWS IN FAVOR OF SOMETHING BETTER
84. STARTED A BUSINESS
85. FALLEN IN LOVE AND NOT HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN
86. TOURED ANCIENT SITES

87. TAKEN A MARTIAL ARTS CLASS
88. SWORDFOUGHT FOR THE HONOR OF A WOMAN
89. PLAYED D&D FOR MORE THAN 6 HOURS STRAIGHT
90. GOTTEN MARRIED
91. BEEN IN A MOVIE
92. CRASHED A PARTY
93. LOVED SOMEONE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE
94. KISSED SOMEONE SO PASSIONATELY IT MADE THEM DIZZY

95. GOTTEN DIVORCED
96. HAD SEX AT THE OFFICE
97. GONE WITHOUT FOOD FOR 5 DAYS
98. MADE COOKIES FROM SCRATCH

99. WON FIRST PRIZE IN A COSTUME CONTEST
100. RIDDEN A GONDOLA IN VENICE
101. GOTTEN A TATTOO
102. FOUND THAT THE TEXTURE OF SOME MATERIALS CAN TURN YOU ON

103. RAFTED THE SNAKE RIVER
104. BEEN ON TELEVISION NEWS PROGRAMS AS AN “EXPERT”
105. GOT FLOWERS FOR NO REASON- I bought them for myself….
106. MASTURBATED IN A PUBLIC PLACE
107. GOT SO DRUNK YOU DON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING

108. BEEN ADDICTED TO SOME FORM OF ILLEGAL DRUG
109. PERFORMED ON STAGE
110. BEEN TO LAS VEGAS
111. RECORDED MUSIC
112. EATEN SHARK
113. HAD A ONE-NIGHT STAND
114. GONE TO THAILAND
115. SEEN SIOUXSIE LIVE
116. BOUGHT A HOUSE
117. BEEN IN A COMBAT ZONE
118. BURIED ONE/BOTH OF YOUR PARENTS
119. SHAVED OR WAXED YOUR PUBIC HAIR OFF
120. BEEN ON A CRUISE SHIP
121. SPOKEN MORE THAN ONE LANGUAGE FLUENTLY- whilst drunk, so I think it was fluent….
122. GOTTEN INTO A FIGHT WHILE ATTEMPTING TO DEFEND SOMEONE
123. BOUNCED A CHEQUE
124. PERFORMED IN ROCKY HORROR
125. READ - AND UNDERSTOOD - YOUR CREDIT REPORT
126. RAISED CHILDREN
127. RECENTLY BOUGHT AND PLAYED WITH A FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TOY
128. FOLLOWED YOUR FAVORITE BAND/SINGER ON TOUR
129. CREATED AND NAMED YOUR OWN CONSTELLATION OF STARS
130. TAKEN AN EXOTIC BICYCLE TOUR IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY
131. FOUND OUT SOMETHING SIGNIFICANT THAT YOUR ANCESTORS DID
132. CALLED OR WRITTEN YOUR MP OR MPP
133. PICKED UP AND MOVED TO ANOTHER CITY TO JUST START OVER-More to finish something
134. …MORE THAN ONCE? - MORE THAN THRICE?
135. WALKED THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE
136. SANG LOUDLY IN THE CAR, AND DIDN’T STOP WHEN YOU KNEW SOMEONE WAS LOOKING
137. HAD AN ABORTION OR YOUR FEMALE PARTNER DID
138. HAD PLASTIC SURGERY
139. SURVIVED AN ACCIDENT THAT YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE SURVIVED.
140. WROTE ARTICLES FOR A LARGE PUBLICATION
141. LOST OVER 100 POUNDS
142. HELD SOMEONE WHILE THEY WERE HAVING A FLASHBACK
143. PILOTED AN AIRPLANE
144. PETTED A STINGRAY
145. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART
146. HELPED AN ANIMAL GIVE BIRTH
147. BEEN FIRED OR LAID OFF FROM A JOB
148. WON MONEY ON A T.V. GAME SHOW
149. BROKEN A BONE
150. KILLED A HUMAN BEING
151. GONE ON AN AFRICAN PHOTO SAFARI
152. RIDDEN A MOTORCYCLE
153. DRIVEN ANY LAND VEHICLE AT A SPEED OF GREATER THAN 160 KM/H

154. HAD A BODY PART OF YOURS BELOW THE NECK PIERCED
155. FIRED A RIFLE, SHOTGUN, OR PISTOL
156. EATEN MUSHROOMS THAT WERE GATHERED IN THE WILD
157. RIDDEN A HORSE
158. HAD MAJOR SURGERY
159. HAD SEX ON A MOVING TRAIN
160. HAD A SNAKE AS A PET
161. HIKED TO THE BOTTOM OF THE GRAND CANYON
162. SLEPT THROUGH AN ENTIRE FLIGHT: TAKEOFF, FLIGHT, AND LANDING
163. SLEPT FOR MORE THAN 30 HOURS OVER THE COURSE OF 48 HOURS
164. VISITED MORE FOREIGN COUNTRIES THAN CANADIAN PROCINCES

165. VISITED ALL 7 CONTINENTS
166. TAKEN A CANOE TRIP THAT LASTED MORE THAN 2 DAYS
167. EATEN KANGAROO MEAT
168. FALLEN IN LOVE AT AN ANCIENT MAYAN BURIAL GROUND
169. BEEN A SPERM OR EGG DONOR
170. EATEN SUSHI
171. HAD YOUR PICTURE IN THE NEWSPAPER

172. HAD 2 (OR MORE) HEALTHY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS FOR OVER A YEAR IN YOUR LIFETIME
173. CHANGED SOMEONE’S MIND ABOUT SOMETHING YOU CARE DEEPLY ABOUT
174. GOTTEN SOMEONE FIRED FOR THEIR ACTIONS
175. GONE BACK TO SCHOOL

176. PARASAILED
177. CHANGED YOUR NAME
178. PETTED A COCKROACH
179. EATEN FRIED GREEN TOMATOES
180. READ THE ILIAD

181. SELECTED ONE “IMPORTANT” AUTHOR WHO YOU MISSED IN SCHOOL, AND READ THEIR BOOKS
182. DINED IN A RESTAURANT AND STOLEN SILVERWARE, PLATES, CUPS BECAUSE YOUR APARTMENT NEEDED THEM
183. …AND GOTTEN 86′ED FROM THE RESTAURANT BECAUSE YOU DID IT SO MANY TIMES, THEY FIGURED OUT IT WAS YOU
184. TAUGHT YOURSELF AN ART FROM SCRATCH
185. KILLED AND PREPARED AN ANIMAL FOR EATING
186. APOLOGIZED TO SOMEONE YEARS AFTER INFLICTING THE HURT
187. SKIPPED ALL YOUR SCHOOL REUNIONS.

188. COMMUNICATED WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT SHARING A COMMON SPOKEN LANGUAGE...
189. BEEN ELECTED TO PUBLIC OFFICE
190. WRITTEN YOUR OWN COMPUTER LANGUAGE
191. THOUGHT TO YOURSELF THAT YOU’RE LIVING YOUR DREAM
192. HAD TO PUT SOMEONE YOU LOVE INTO HOSPICE CARE
193. BUILT YOUR OWN PC FROM PARTS
194. SOLD YOUR OWN ARTWORK TO SOMEONE WHO DIDN’T KNOW YOU
195. HAD A BOOTH AT A STREET FAIR
196: DYED YOUR HAIR
197: BEEN A DJ
198: FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS GOING TO DUMP YOU VIA LIVEJOURNAL
199: WRITTEN YOUR OWN ROLE PLAYING GAME
200: BEEN ARRESTED

Posted by Loba @ 2:30 PM :: (13) comments

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

So traffic was total, and utter shit this morning. A complete mess. One of the main highways was closed, and/or down to one lane. The feeder routes were absolutely packed. It was a bloody mess.
Went to the mall with co-workers for lunch, and it was empty. I guess people didn't want to face the road again after such a crap commute this morning. Or I know, a lot of people turned around and went home.

The mall food court makes me sad. For oh so many reasons, but it doesn't help that I work 2 minutes from where I grew up. It's a weird coincidence, and I can't seem to escape what I like to call the Brahms Triangle. School, home, work. I don't live in my childhood home anymore, but man alive, I need a change of scenery.

Peach and I just couldn't face our run yesterday, and we went grocery shopping and bought crap for dinner. She had KD, cheese and crackers and chocolate and cookies. I had cheezies, a chicken breast and salad, and then some 'nice' cookies with my tea. A whole bunch of 'nice' cookies. Monday I ate cheezies for dinner. No add ons, because I didn't want the nutritional energy, I needed to be a slug. Similar to lazy bones McGee Wren. Tonight though, I have a big run. Upping the time and distance. I think I'll do it at the gym though, because it's fucking hot today.

That is my fucking story. Oh, that and I tried coffee yogurt, and it's pretty fucking good.
I like Ida red apples too.
Oh, and buy me stuff.

Semi-chub just walked by and thought it was weird that it was getting hotter as the day progressed. Well, SC, that's what usually happened in September you stupid ass, I guess though since you've only been alive 30 years, you don't know that yet.

Posted by Loba @ 1:15 PM :: (13) comments

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Star Wars Part 2

Ok, so I know I killed the spelling of some characters names, I know I did for sure with Princess Leia- and Captain Kirk made only a brief cameo in The Empire Strikes Back, he was looking for Spock-so technically he wasn't a main character. So now that those matters are cleared up...One last thing, my roommate isn't hairy, she's lovely and pretty and all my girl friends have crushes on her-and clearly I'm not cool, but Nerd, he's a nerd and will remain CP30.

Jaba the Hut-depending on the time of month....Could be anyone
Storm Trooper Clone #7- Nerd, because he says he's tough, but really...If you have to tell me you're tough, you're not so much.
Tonton-Nerd, because he's a good helper monkey, and would gladly let you crawl in his stomach if it meant survival.
Light Saber-Nerd, because he's as sharp as one.

I guess that's about it, I can't remember anymore names- I am however wondering if it's true that Cliff Clavin was in one of the movies? And where was IV-VI filmed?

(Are ya happy with that Nerd?)

Posted by Loba @ 10:27 AM :: (11) comments

Monday, September 27, 2004

Star Wars

So, I saw Stars war 4-6 for the very, very first time ever this past weekend.
I liked it. The only reason I haven’t seen it before this point, is just because the later it got in life, the more it freaked people out that I hadn’t seen it. It just got to be this thing that people couldn’t believe, or whatever, and so why break it? Anywhore, I saw it. I am now going to proceed to have my friends placed into characters into which I think they match. If you have any preferences put it in the comment box, or any suggestions-go nuts.

Hans Solo: Loba, because I’m ornery (“Then see you in Hell”), and I’m super cool (ahem).
C3P0: Nerd, cause, well he’s a nerd, and C3P0 talks about binary
Lando Calrissian: Troy, because he already has the costume
Chew Bacca: Peach, my roommate, because she’s hairy, or Beatrice Arthur because she’s tall enough
Luke Skywalker: Wren, because she’s whiny.
Princess Leah: Bearded Lady, because he looks good in gold AND bikinis.
Darth Vadar: Peach, because she has asthma (I feel sorry for anyone who’s my roommate)
R2D2: Don Knotts, self-explanatory
Boba Fett: who I thought was in the movie way, way more because everyone always used to talk about how cool he was, will be Switzer, because she’s fairly close to killing someone at any given time
Captain Kirk: Future Doctor, just because I say.
Yoda: Maybe me again, because I have trouble speaking/thinking in the right order (I'm fairly certain I've suffered some sort of stroke.)
Obi Wan Kenobi: Wren, because she has a beard.

Speaking of which, Future Doctor had to do a lice check because she was working with kids on the weekend who had lice. How ironic is that? Other than that, no lice talk from bubbly apple pot pie with a brick of cheese.

Posted by Loba @ 4:09 PM :: (10) comments

Friday, September 24, 2004

Only one mention....

Only one mention of lice today, but it was for half a fucking hour, so I don’t know if I should smile, or smash some faces. I try to block it out, but frankly her voice just doesn’t allow for that. It’s really that grating.
My friend just mailed me a bunch of emails that I had written when I went to school in Italy, I took Sexuality in The Renaissance, I had an amazing Prof., and it was amazing to take a course in a place (city) where you could walk back to res and see where some of the events that you were learning about took place (i.e. The Bonfire of the Vanities, or where Sodom was hung by his fellow monks.) It was an amazing experience.
Anyhoo, the emails were really funny with all the mistakes, but also brought back a lot of memories, I need to figure out how to get them onto my blog, kind of like an appendices or something. It brought back some funny memories.
When I went to school in France in highschool my only assignment for English was to keep a journal, and I still have it, and look back and wonder and laugh, cry a bit, and just really enjoy the memories.
It's office clean out day, we're moving offices see, our new office is 2 km away. Anyhoo, my boss isn't in, so I really didn't have too toss much, just move some boxes around...poor Wren has a whole room. I used to be in her department of the doughnut making machine, but no longer...although I'm still in a cubicle with her (yipeee!) and I hang out with everyone from my old department, except for the person who smells like garlic...Ok, so she's made some really good progress in the room, but it reeks of dust and isn't so pleasant.
Around M-Cat's desk, the reception at the doughnut makers hall, it smells like poo. Some one in the office is notorious for making awful poo smells-because her shit stinks real bad. And-it's not me! I courtsey flush like there's no tomorrow, and don't really use the exec washroom, because one time I took a piss in there and the toilet wouldn't flush and brown and green floating things came up and almost over flowed, I think Notorious had just been in there clogging it up, and I was worried I would get blamed because I have IBS. Except there is no way my liquid green could clog up a toilet...Ok, that's enough, I'm going now. Bon Appiete gros croustielle.

Posted by Loba @ 2:43 PM :: (5) comments

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Guess who's STILL talking lice?

Again, late in the after noon, lice.
Then, her cubicle mate started swearing and getting mad because her phone company took two payments out of her account and she's written other checks in the meantime and now they'll bounce.
That's some awful shit, yo. Seriously though, go and talk in private about that, because, shit yo, co-workers don't want to hear that crap. If you're going bankrupt, go out in private please. If you're kid has lice, and you want all your friends, family, health ministry, catholic school board, french catholic school board, co-workers, maintance workers in the building, etc, etc to know, pleaseeee get it over in one fucking day. Or heck, don't even advertise it at all. Now there's a concept! Private affairs private, work affairs=work related. Hmmph, funny how that would work.
Shit, yo. (by the way, that's my new fav. saying.)

Posted by Loba @ 8:28 AM :: (8) comments

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

guess who's talking lice?

shit yo, again with the lice this morning. hmmmph.

my lense's in my glasses look like they are going to pop out of the frames, so a trip to the eye glass store for me.

Sephora is opening in Canada (muffled barf sounds, and a little bit of chewing what came up in my mouth), so yeah, GIFT CERTIFICATE PEOPLE, GIFT CERTIFICATE-CHRISTMAS...LET'S GET ON THIS FOLKS, IT'S SEPTEMBER ALREADY.

I also want a sweater, skirt and coat from J. Crew. Let's go people...and some goat cheese to engergize me for backyard wrestling and making sweet, sweet love.

Posted by Loba @ 11:32 AM :: (8) comments

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

One more bloody thing

If you chew fucking gum, office or else where, do not stand millimeters away from me and snap and pop your gum like a fucking leper. I will snap and pull your fucking head off.
Do not sit in your cubicle crackling your gum away, or come and talk to me while smacking on your gum smelling like garlic. I will SNAP and punch you in the esophogus. Yes, right through your larynx and what not.
This is some serious shit, yo.

Posted by Loba @ 11:16 AM :: (7) comments

I feel like goat cheese

So the goddamn women in the cubicle over from Wren and I has finally fucking stopped crying and blabbing/blubbering on the phone. A day and a half of this! Her kid was came home from school with lice Friday, and when it went to school on Monday, the school sent her home because they found more larva. Or actually the poor kid had to wait in the office for over half a day whilst her mom cried about going to the ministry of health, going to the school board, wanting a guarantee that all the other kids would be checked for lice, etc. The thing is, all day she was on the phone with not only the school but with everyone, including I believe some mystic healer. All fucking day. Calling up people and telling the story over and fucking over again, while her poor kid sat in the office waiting for a pick up. Christ almighty! Wren and I wanted to snap.
You're kid has lice, for the safety and well being of the other kids and teachers she's being sent home. They aren't saying she's fucking dirty. Let it go, get your kid home and wash her hair. I don't care if you went to the pharmacy, used lice shampoo, went to the doctor and he checked her out, if you got a note, if you washed your other kids hair, your hair, your husbands hair, the car seat, called the board of health, the ministry of health, the board of education, your grandma, your babysitter, your sister in Honolulu...Get your fucking kid home and re-wash her hair. You cried enough, the poor kid was found with larva yesterday, just get her home and wash her bloody hair.
And don't come in today and repeat the cycle!
Thank goodness it only lasted for the morning....
Friday you cried too, about lack of communication with somebody in the field. Stop crying and do some work! Stop making person calls, and maybe you'll communicate better with the field.
Shit, yo.

Posted by Loba @ 11:06 AM :: (6) comments

Monday, September 20, 2004

Christmas List

This will be quick, but it's going to be updated and such, I just need to get this out there.

digital camera
gift certificates to: Banana Republic, Sephora (in Canada in Novemer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), Chapters, H20, j. crew
money
day at the spa.


and that's it for now, so start shopping ladies (that includes you nerd)
Yes, I'm greedy, that was established eons ago.

Posted by Loba @ 3:55 PM :: (12) comments

Friday, September 17, 2004

Weird things that I simply don't have the time or engergy to write

ok, so browneyed wren wrote about how fucked up some of here 'things' are, and it gots me to a thinking. I have way too many to write, and would be here forever, so it'll just be running through my brain, making me nuts!

Posted by Loba @ 9:36 PM :: (7) comments

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Choir in grade five, and why I quit by grade six.

Trust me, one of the many reasons I quit choir was because for the most part I couldn't sing worth a lick. The main reason though, was the crazy choir master. Crazy- as in old school crazy. Like, stab you in the gut crazy if you took a breath, or took too long to blink your eyes.
I also think it had something to do with the fact that she was crazy, yes, definitely had something to do with that.
She had also been in a coma for a few months and was paralyzed for months afterwards when she taught me in grade 2 (more on that later). And she had an ugly, socially inept son who was in a gifted program and her other son was hyper active who she'd bring to class when they had PA days. She'd have the gifted kid mark our shit (homework) Way to put pressure on your son Ms. N-S, and way to make other kids hate and fear him.
As well she told me inappropriate stories/things to me, like I should stop yawning or she'd kick me out of class to learn me a lesson. I was 7. I was tired, I feared her, what the hell am I suppose to do to stop yawning when we're lying on the rug being read stories? I WAS SEVEN!! Or when I had her as a teacher in grade six, telling me about cheating on her finance with someone she met on a safety patroller convention in Ottawa (more on that too). As well, she died her hair black and the dye went into her brain and made her, you guessed it, crazy.
Ok, well, I could write about her forever, but this story is about only ONE choir incident. There's more, but this is my favourite.
We were having a section practice, so the alto's were all instructed to stand at the front and she would go through our part. Bear in mind the alto section was still pretty high in octave, it was full of pre-pubescent boys. Ok, so, at one point we're sing our little innocent hearts out, and Smythy Pants freaks out and says one of us is out of tune, because clearly, while she was crazy, she was also a super musically gifted person (cough, cough). Smythy Face concluded I was the one out of tune and yelled at me to stop. Yelled at all of us to stop well making a face like she'd just eaten something sour and waving her arms around frantically (she was crazy, maybe she thought she could fly). She has us each individually sing our lines. While I'm not musically voice gifted, when need be I can carry a tune, espically if I'm afraid she'll ripe out my esphogus or the the threat of being stabbed in the gut by a crazy choir master... So I sang my four little lines and was satisfied the crazy lady, and we were instructed to sing all together again. Smythy Freak was much happier and sad "Thank God I stopped the practiced and singled you out Laura, because you were so out of tune, now it's better."
Both times, while singing in the group, I was MOUTHING THE WORDS. MOUTHING THE WORDS. BOTH TIMES. MOUTHING THE WORDS. I can NOT emphasize this enough, I WAS MOUTHING THE WORDS. Good work you crazy diseased "c" word, way to pick up on my being out of tune, pointing me out, yelling at my out of tune-ness, and being a complete fuck. Way to be muscially gifted for picking someone out for being out of tune while MOUTHING THE WORDS. Thank you. 18 years later and it's still seared in my brain. At least it makes a good story. As will all the other ones!!!

Posted by Loba @ 10:57 AM :: (8) comments

Why I wear a cape (and not just because I'm insanely cool)

I've recently become obsessed with rice noodles and soy crackers. Thin, thin, vermecelli rice noodles and bar-b-que flavored soy crackers.
I need some recipes for rice noodles, or even glass noodles, so if anyone has a site they like going to for recipes, please put it in the comment section, and those who know me, of course just give us a call.
My last few entries have been fairly gross, and I was thinking of toning my shit down (literally and figuratively- I'm taking Acidofolous for intestine health!). Then I thought, no fucking way man, I can't hold me back, that wouldn't be fair to my brain, my fans, or my delusions of grandeur (what could I be grandiose about if I toned my blogs down?).
I will however try and slow down whilst writing and make more sense. Ahh, who I am kidding that won't happen.

Posted by Loba @ 10:49 AM :: (9) comments

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Interesting things....

A good way to get anti-perspirant stains out of your t-shirt (after you've discovered them on your shirt whilst at work) is to rub your shirt together where the stain is, somehow, they disappear!

Thai food, especially the curry, does not sit well in an IBS tummy. Do NOT sneeze after you've had it while talking on the phone, unless you plan to cut the conversation short, right then and there in fact.

Fiona Apple is suppose to have a new album out soon.

Co-workers who stand by your cubicle and talk loud while you're on the phone are annoying and just plain dumb. And possibly ugly.

I like to go for brunch.

I can't find a masacara that doesn't smudge under my eyes. I've tried everything! Everything!!!!!!!!

I wish I wasn't such a delicate flower, but alas I am, and would never survive in jail, so I must retire from the life of crime. I will not, however, retire my cape.

I would like to travel again. France, England, Australia, Christ, even up north to see the fall foliage would be nice!

Cold water dissolves dishwashing soap, if you want the dishes to be done quickly. Hot water makes them soapy, but they dry quicker.

Phish has a book out with all there concerts, dates, song lists, etc. that cost 34.00 CND dollars.

I like it when people buy me stuff, like a green cardigan from J. Crew.

Old Navy has some nice dress pants right now.

Sometimes our cubicle smells, and I blame Wren, but it's really Wren.

Talking loudly covers up the fart noise.

So does making pretend fart noises into your arm.

Nothing cuts the smell, especially cheese. (Get it, cut the cheese? Haha)

Bra's should be cheaper, and good bra stores should be closer.

Photocopying sucks ass.

Austin has a good music festival.

If you leave your eye glasses in the trunk in August they melt to an odd shape.


Posted by Loba @ 11:48 AM :: (11) comments

Monday, September 13, 2004

Something is Happening...

Something is happening is from the Life in Hell series from Matt Groening, Childhood is hell. It shows the stages in which we become aware, and the first picture shows a jiggly baby, looking around, thinking, something is happening, and the last picture shows an old person thinking the same thing.

Anyhoo, nothing was happening Saturday night! Nerd and I were blobs on the couch, it was even an effort to return the movie we rented Friday. Sweet Jesus had general malaise set in!
The rest of the weekend was busy, brunch, baby shower, appointments, shopping for said shower...

Brunch was awesome though, love the home fries at Insomnia! Love them!
Fuck me, this entry is boring and dumb.

My hairdresser's salon has moved to a new location and it is super nice, and the parking lot is calm, not crazy like at the previous place, which I had sworn I would never, ever go to on a Saturday ever again.

Yup, this is still boring.

www.futuredoctor.ca is officially up and running, check it out!

Posted by Loba @ 11:26 AM :: (9) comments

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

A Few Sayings you Should Know

Ham fisted cunt.

Pork is not a verb.

Corn Relish Camel Toe.

Hi, Shit Ass MaGee.

I pity the fool...(insert pitying phrase here, I.E. I pity the fool who is a ham fisted cunt.)

Bum tit tit, bum tit tit, playing the hairy banjo.

Hairy Taco.

Smegma.

Chota.

T'aint (as in: T'aint your balls, t'aint your ass)

Clam Nector

Ummm, I think that's all I'll do for now, it's getting a little bad... but ne'er do worry, I'll add more soon.

Feel free to add in the comment section. IN FACT, it's highly encouraged.

Posted by Loba @ 11:31 AM :: (8) comments

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Cement Pants

Ok, I'm not sure why this funny, but somehow, to me, it is. I laughed pretty hard at the time it was discussed, I thought I was going to fall over I was laughing so hard. Again, maybe only funny to me....

Sooooo, Nerd has taken to hugging me really hard, and my back cracks, and then he moves his arms to a different position, and hugs hard again, and my back cracks. This process is repeated a few times.

I said to him this weekend one of these times my spine will snap, and he'll have to drag me around by my arms in cement pants. He looked at me sort of strange and asked why cement pants, and my thought process was, since I'll be dragged around by my arms the pants I wear will get ripped. Nerd thought it would be pretty hard to make the pants, put them on, and then drag me around in them. Not to mention heavy....He thought latex would be a better option. So if I ever cracked his spine he would wear latex pants (PVC), see through with sparkles.

Anyhoo, I had an image of me being lowered into cement pants by the arms, and Nerd dragging me around in his see-through pants (with sparkles, can't forget the sparkles!), my head occasionally bouncing off the curb, or a flower pot, and getting really dirty. I just couldn't stop laughing at the image. I'd have a closet of cement pants, dress ones, causal Friday ones, club wear...Oh the list goes on forever.

Then Nerd said he would just get me a wheel chair, with a motor, and spikes on the wheels, so I could cut people, and I could start a gang. I would make my Grandmother the honorary president of the league, due to the fact that I always kid her about starting a gang at the nursing home with her walker, and the other walker/wheelchair's oldies. What with their oxygen tanks and all, they run into people and make them blow up. Grandmother doesn't like this joke, but again, I can't stop laughing at it.

Posted by Loba @ 1:58 PM :: (7) comments

Saturday, September 04, 2004

Long Weekend

Ok, Future Doctor went back to school yesterday, it's much too far away for my liking, but I can't help but be super proud of her because this is her dream and she's worked so hard for it, and it's so worth it in the end. It's just getting there that's kind rougg for some many reason's, but she's strong, smart, beautiful and loved.

On a lighter note, my roommate and I are training for a 5k run in October, the Run for the Cure. Last year Future Doctor and Natoleah were going to walk the weekend to end breast cancer, but FD got called away to med school so Natoleah and Roberto did it. I was going to, but my IBS was acting up-again, and I was afraid to commit to it because it was two days and toilets weren't always readily available. They both raised over 2000 dollars each! Amazing!

Anyhoo, the 5k run won't be bad if my tummy is acting up, I'll just run into a store along the route or to the Don River! Kidding...not really. So Peach and I are going to attempt this, and it's going alright so far, this is week three of training. Today it's so fucking hot and humid, I lost five pounds from the run. Now I'm having coffee and a bagel which Nerd brought me because I've become obsessed with viewing other bloggers profiles and haven't gotten up from the computer even though I pooped myself.

We're playing house, looking after his parents dogs and their house. Gorgeous back deck, beautiful garden, small town satanic creepiness...It's like we're grown ups, even though farts are still funny, and burps put me over the edge. Flicking boogers is pretty funny too.

Posted by Loba @ 10:04 AM :: (6) comments

Friday, September 03, 2004

The Day the Kitchen Went Black.

Dear Staff who Eat Food,

It has come to my attention that the staff kitchen utensils appear to be dwindling in amount. If you have used any of the plastic forks, knifes, spoons, etc., that have been provided for you in absence of the regular cutlery, and have accidentally taken them home, to your desk, or stolen, please kindly return them to the kitchen. No questions asked, but your laptop bag and/or purse will be searched upon you leaving nightly.

If by some odd chance you have thrown out the plastic utensil that you have used, please fish them out of the garbage, wipe them off on your white t-shirt, and return them to the communal box on the table in the staff kitchen.

Finally, if you put them in the dishwasher by mistake and they melted, please go to the closest dollar store and replace them.

However, if any of the utensils broke whilst you were using them to eat, or broke in your mouth, please note you will have to replace those too.

I came to the distressing concluding that there were no spoons left and had to drink my yogurt this morning. That is until a fellow staff member dug through all of the other utensils with there grubby hands and found me a spoon at the bottom of the box, and handed it to me, spoon part in their hands. I wiped in on my shirt and gladly stopped drinking my yogurt.

Yours in Fondest Regards (aka: hungrily yours)

The Office Helper that everyone hates.

Posted by Loba @ 10:19 AM :: (12) comments

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Goat Cheese Revolution on Hold

Today, today I am tired. The guy who lives below Peach and I has his bedroom below mine, and I think he was moving furniture last night well past 1am. A couple of co-workers think he was 'taking care of business', or as they said "Masturbating".
If he was, good God man, are you crashing into walls, moving your dresser across the room, and jumping off the bed? That's quite the routine, so no wonder this is the first time I've heard him do that since he moved in a month ago. Fish Schtic says guys have certain rountines they like to follow, but Uncle Bob's corn cob pipe is was very involved sounding!
So anyhoo, gonna put the revolution on hold for a bit, I'm a little too tired to don my revolution hat and top coat-although I'm never to tired to strut around with cane...I'm digressing a bit. Eat goat cheese in salad, in a wrap, on pizza, on crackers or a baguette, and sing it's praises, one day I'll send out the cue for more.

Posted by Loba @ 10:15 AM :: (11) comments