Monday, November 29, 2004
s How about this one?
My new TV concept:Don Knots=the brain
Dom Delauise=the chef
Tina Yothers= the bad dye job
Beatrice Arthur=the muscle
And it doesn't even have to be a dramatic show, there are some really good comedians in this one! You can't just have actors pigioned holed, you've got to let them live man, you've got to let them live!
On a less serious note, I got a Christmas present early, a digital cmaera. We used it to take pictures down in at the peer in Dover where we almost got blown off, and totally sprayed with FREEZING water! Love the camera, love the Nerd, everyone loves the purse nerd got me too. I need more! He's added fuel to an already GREEDY ASS fire.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Too busy to keep up
The doughnut factory has moved, we're stupid busy, and planning for the annual holiday party. So busy.SO, work causal (business causual as they call it) is in effect, but we are no longer able to wear jeans on Friday. Except for the move, we could wear jeans R, Fri, and Mon, and boy, was it nice. Nice to see the doughnut tester wear tight ass jeans on Wednesday (two days AFTER we were suppose to stop wearing them), I guess they still thought it was ok, and to be honest, it might not have been jeans, but really, paint. That's how tight they were. It went well with his heavy metal shirt and 7 inch Pee Wee Herman gone po-mo platform boots. Nothing beats office cas., I'm telling you that here and now. Listen to me now, believe me later, office cas includes wearing inapropriate clothes (tight, tight paint pants, platform boots and belly shirts), white lip stick and blue eyeliner.
Garlic just walked by my desk, and he's loving the move! It allows him to walk around even more, sighing, looking aggitated and busy, but in actual fact, they just want someone to talk to. Yesterday they unloaded the dishwasher, and when anyone else does it, it takes 3 minuttes max. They took 15 minutes, hoping someone would praise them, or pick up on the heavy sighs and talk to them. People won't talk to you if you smell like garlic and chew with your mouth open.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
My Fantasy
Having Magnum PI team up with Beatrice Arthur to solve crime. Bea would be the muscle on the show.Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Buddy the ELf is my nerd
I've come to the conclusion that my Nerd is buddy the Elf.Here's why:
1. He loves sugar, his four main food groups are, candy, candy canes, candy corn and syrup.
2. He will eat random things from just about anywhere, the floor and under the couch included.
3. He sings, randomly, and made up songs.
4. He's always in good spirits, can make me laugh with how sweet he is, and he's just plain lovely.
5. He gets the excitment and joy from little things like only a child can (this is a very good thing, so uncynical. Me on the other hand, I'm James Caan in Elf.)
6. He really likes sugar.
7. If he can get half excited over Christmas the way he did over Halloween, we've got a great new begining of traditions to start (sorry awkward sentence)
Yeah, Nerd is lovely and smells like buttered popcorn. I'm Elliot Gould from Ocean's 11, and now Ocean's 12.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
moving
the doughnut factory is moving, everyone is in a tizzy, it's noisy and sweaty and piled up mass of rhea.Been given a new assignment that has to be sent out Thursday, and i don't understand it, boss is away (when is she here really?), don't have access to the computer on Friday as that's the big day, so have to have everything done Thursday. Fuck.
Anywhore, Nerd will be here Friday, Peach and I are going shopping, and Saturday I'm having my hair cut. Always in enjoy the cut.
My side bum hurts, went for a longer run last night, and was going to go this morning, but Peach was out of it, so I said, go back to sleep, and then I went back to bed, so after work it is.
Fell asleep watching a re-run of CSI, I always do that now, I vaugly remember watching it when it first came out, but now I need to see it again, because I can't remember it.
FUCKING BEEF BURRITO'S AND CHICKEN CHIMMICHONGAS.
Monday, November 15, 2004
You Can't Burn Me
A co-worker today stopped by Wren and my cubicle, and causally mentioned how everyone in their department was going to Florida (for a doughnut convention, by the by) and I wasn't.Well, no, I'm not, as I'm not even in your freaking department, so why on Earth would I be going?
Nice try Garlic Stink.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Panths
It'ths pretty hard for me to find panths that fit correctly. I think it's my long body and gorilla type short legths that make it thso difficult.When I find panths that fit, I buy a couple of pairths generally. Recently I did thisth and I think the second pair was marked incorrectly because they are so tight I've got camel toe, and if I'm not careful it may turn into corn relisth camel toe! I don't know why thisth isth, one pair tight and the other pair lovely. I like the other pair thso much I wrote about them justh lasth week (I think it was lasth week). Anywhore, I'll work on sthregthing them out, and in the mean time I hope I don't give mythself a corn relisth camel toe in the making.
I'm althso working on my lispth.
Remembrance Day
Thank you.Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Carl Weathers, where did the love go?
Beatrice Arthur want to be with you.
I'm fairly certain that I have a cold coming on.
Wren smells like old sugar cookies dipped in bull plop, and oddly enough she looks like a boner face.
She just told me she loves me. Haha, sucka.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
I saw a celebrity! I think
I think I saw a former tennis star today get off the parking elevator today. Martina Navratalova. Of course if it was her, I think she would take the stairs and not the elevator, but being a former jock myself, I occasionally take the elevator too, so I understand where she's coming from.It also could have been Carling Bassat (now there was a made for tv movie star if I ever saw one. Such good cross over potential as an athlete and an actress who plays a tennis star on tv.)
Monday, November 08, 2004
For this week....
Rocky 3 is my new fav. movie. It combines the genius of Mr. T (as clubber lang) Hollywood Hogan (as sugar lips) and Carl Weathers and Sylvester Stallone frolicking in the ocean to some serious kick ass tunes.
What a weekend pt. 2!
Friday night, we were suppose to go to the Orbit room to see some live music, but the band doesn't come on until late, so we went to Rebe's and Umars first to have a few drinks and chill there. We played Uker, ukher? How the hell to you spell that? Anywhore, I'm getting better at uhcker (ucher?), but not much. Umar was my partner, so he was nice abou it....because I started to cry. Then, all got sort of tooooo mellow, Rebe fell asleep on the floor, and I stretched out on the couch, so we decided to watch ROCKY 3. That's right my friends! Rocky three! Da da da da da, da da (you know, the theme song). Nerd, Umar and I discovered that Rocky 3 provides all the lines you need to use at work:1. UUUNNNNHHHH! When Mr. T, I mean Clubber Lang, wins the first fight and he has his arms above his head, and he's baring his teeth going "uuuuhhhhnnnn!", that can be applied to any situation. Don't want to photocopy? Unnnnnhhhh (baring teeth with a mouth guard is essential.) Want a co-workers lunch-UUgggghhhh. You get the picture.
2. I pity the fool.. Really, it applies pre-fixed to any sentence. I pity the fool who doens't shut up in their cubicle. I pity the fool who eats smelly food in the lunch room. I pity the fool who makes me angry. Ugggghhhhh. (I wish I could draw pictures on this)
3. The open mouth cry when Mickey dies. If you don't cry at that scene, you're made of stone. Again, really applies to any situation. Espcially on a Tuesday afternoon and you realize this is your life.
4. Call someone sugar lips.
Rebe woke up to Nerd, Umar and I doing the Ugggghhhhn, "you want me to do what?" and she was like, it's not funny anymore!
Also, for eye of the tiger, when it's played in the movie, there's a tiger roar. And you CANNOT beat the training montage that ends with Carl and Sly frolicking in the water together. I dare say it's better than Rocky 4! And I LOVE Draggo. Also, you can really feel Clubber's anger when he watches Rocky in all those title matches, and when he tells Adrian if she wants a real man, she should come to his apartment, and he'll show her what a real man is. Nice. And Classy!
On a disapointing note, we watched Van Helsing, and whilst I adore Hugh Jackman, the movie sort of totally sucked. I did however like the Friar named Carl. Nice touch.
Did some other shit, and then Sunday night went to see the Cowboy Junkies. We saw them at Trinity Church and it was so pretty, a lovely intimate setting, although my ass was KILLING me after sitting on a church pew for three and a half hours.
The band was great and Margo's voice was so clean and pure, and it's so nice because they've been touring the states since April and her voice still sounded amazing. The song writing was great too. It's sad that crap like lip synching teeny boppers who become washouts by the time there 21 are so popular. Anyhoo.
They did a cover of 'helpless' and sweet jesus it was amazing. And then the last song was 'misguided angel' and it was just so sweet and lovely and clear. It was margo and her brother on an acoustic guitar. Amazing!
Plus, whilst this goes without saying, I had an AMAZING time with Nerd. Even though he chose Van Helsing.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Mascara
I'm a bit of a make up whore. I love playing with it, colours, textures, etc.In actuality I don't wear a lot of it, but like to wear some basics most of the time. These would include base (either foundation or concellor) chap stick/gloss and mascara.
Today I forgot to but mascara on. I use a eyelash curler, and I forgot to do that too, but anyway-I'm searching for the perfect mascara.
It doesn't have to be the curling kind, just something that doesn't smudge. That's very, very important. I have dark enough circles under my eyes, I don't need black smudges under there too.
Powder does help prevent some smudging, but not all of it. I hate water proof mascara, so bad for your lashes! I loke Mosscara by Aveda and Lash Fantasy by revlon, but I want something I really, really love. There are certain products that catch me, and I will buy again and again, but since I'm such a whore for products it really takes a lot for me to come back to it twice.
If anyone has a recommendation, PLEASE let me know.
Today, by mistake, I called my former boss "dear". Ooops.
I said "what's going on dear?". He's been grumpy and he walks to clear his head, and I just causally said it, and then back peddled my ass out of it. Anyhoo, he just blushed and said not to worry about it.
Wren has been stinking up this joint pretty bad.
my nemisis
My nemisis just left the factory.I'm a little hot under the collar.
Basically because I keep telling him the same thing over and over, in different ways, in the same way, in any way I can get Nemmi to understand. Nothing works. So he drove in from an hour away for me to say, look this is all I can do to help you no more no less. Again, call this person they can help you, in fact they are 10 yards away, I'll escort you them to their machine.
Ugggggh. Nope, he continues asking the same question. Finally I'm like dude, I's gots to go do my chores. I can't fucking help. I told you what I know, given you all I can, now leave me alone!
On a nicer note, my wool pants are fully lined in silk, and they sure feel nice. Now if I shaved my legs more than 1 every three months, they'd feel divine.
Looks like I'm running in the rain tonight. Eeep. It'll be fun. Then when I spit, and pee myself, nobody will be the wiser.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Today a co-worker asked me to stop picking my nose in his office. Really though, I was smelling my fingers after I scratched my ass crack.
Shit yo.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Man Alive
it's just one of those fucking days were everyone (up to and including myself) seems extra idiotic. Fuckity fuck fuck.Why would someone on the other side of the country send me stuff to print off to fed ex to them? Why?
Why would someone call me repeatly asking the same stupid question in 20 different ways, and I can only give them the same answer over and over again? Why would you call without replicating your computer, because I've already told you REPEATLY that I sent the information requested. WHY WOULD YOU CALL OTHER PEOPLE ASK THEM TO DO THE SAME THING AND FUCK EVERYONE UP BECAUSE YOU'RE CONFUSED AND CAN'T EXPLAIN PROPERLY WHAT YOU WANT BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT?.
Hmmmm, I think I'm angrier than I knew. It would however explain the steam coming out of my ears and the mild taste of piss in my mouth.
Monday, November 01, 2004
Ghouly Nerd
As per Millicent's request...
Skincerely,
The Nerd
ear infection
exsqueeze me, I cunt hear you, I have a ear infucktion.It turns out I have an ear infection. I've had it for some time too. I just have so many things wrong with me, general aches and pains, general malaise and what not, I sort of figured that was what was going on with me. As it turns out, it wasn't. I happened to be at the doctors and mentioned it, and he was like, "it's red and swollen in there, you have an ear infection." Well I'll be!
It's strange, I never even thought of that. I don't know why, I had so many when I was a kid. I guess I just figured it was a kid thing-stupid I know. I just remember as a child lying in bed in excrutiating pain, not like the dull ache I've had for a few months now.
It's also my going deaf ear, so again, I didn't think much of it. It's being treated now-with Bourbon.
I'm not the nerd here
I'd like to upload a picture of the nerd, as he was made into a ghoul last night, and he had a tonne of fun, and his excitment was wonderful and catching, but I'm not the nerd here (he is), so it might not work.Never mind, I have to download a program, and the doughmakers do not allow this. Oh well, I'll do it this weekend when nerd has his computer at out place.
Peace dressed up as Chewbacca. Her new name is Todd.